As the off season goes on with little to talk about, I thought I would start a series of posts to give us all something to fill the time. I mean we could be like Michigan and Alabama and have those nasty NCAA scandals to keep us talking, but I think we are all really glad that we don’t. I thought I would go back to the beginning and let you know how I became the Penn State fan that I am today and what the greatest game I ever attended was. Now I was at the Rose Bowl in 1995 and that was one of the greatest weekends in my life. I recommend that anyone who gets the chance goes. Amazing. Of course Penn State beat Oregon to wrap it up so that helps. While that would seem to be the greatest game outside of a certain Sugar or Fiesta Bowl that a Penn State fan could attend, it is not mine.

27 years later you could say I quit a job for a Penn State Illinois basketball game of all things.

Now I was at the Rose Bowl in 1995 and that was one of the greatest weekends in my life. I recommend that anyone who gets the chance goes. Amazing. Of course Penn State beat Oregon to wrap it up so that helps. While that would seem to be the greatest game outside of a certain Sugar or Fiesta Bowl that a Penn State fan could attend, it is not mine.

I grew up a baseball fan and the Orioles will always be my favorite sports team. While I love Orioles baseball, I do not live and die Orioles baseball as I do Penn State football. While I may get perturbed when the Os blow another game, it’s happened a lot lately, I do not spray colorful language over a ball/strike call like I do a holding call during a Penn State game. I have never over indulged in adult beverages or smoked a Cuban cigar over the outcome of an Orioles game like I have over a Penn State game. So what sparked this love of Penn State football?

When I arrived at Penn State as a freshman in 1982 I did not even purchase student football tickets. I was paying for school myself and did not see the need to spend money on football tickets. A friend of mine from high school made the Blue Band and horrified that I did not have football tickets, gave me his. I will owe him forever, thanks Mark.

The season opened with Temple, Maryland, and Rutgers. Penn State averaged nearly 40 points a game in those first 3 contests and was pretty exciting. At that time I was working at a department store to put myself through school. I had made arrangements that I would be off for home football games. Next up was Nebraska.

Back then there were no permanent lights at Beaver Stadium but CBS wanted to broadcast the game and was willing to truck in lights in order to start the game later. So game time was moved and I was already scheduled to work during the time the game was to take place. My boss refused to move my shift and so with no idea how I would pay my bills, I walked out and never went back. It was one of the best decisions regarding work that I would ever make. In fact I would kind of repeat this decision 27 years later, but that’s another story.

The game is one of legend and that last Todd Blackledge orchestrated drive would forever cement Penn State football in my in my heart. 1:18 left in the game and 65 yards to victory. There was a fourth down conversion and a controversial catch along the sideline and then the TD catch by someone nicknamed Stone Hands. We stormed the field and tore down the goal posts. Of all the games I have attended over the years there is no bigger or memorable game.

What about you? What was the greatest Penn State game that you ever attended? How did you become a Penn State fan? I would love to hear your stories. As always, you can respond here on the blog or to my email address at rbtjsmith@comcast.net .

I understand the frustration about Coach O'Brien not recruiting the final three weeks of this year's recruiting period, but people need to understand that recruiting is a year long game. You can't just swing players that have built relationships for 3 years with coaches at all these schools in a three week period.

View full sizeJoe Hermitt- The Patriot NewsCoach Bill O'Brien is the new face of Penn State football and has probably become the most recognizable coach in the college football world during the Pats playoff run.

Mourners had not even cleared the Bryce Jordan Center after the Joe Paterno Memorial on Thursday before Board of Trustees’ mouthpiece; Lanny Davis was on the offense. While our tears were still drying, Mr Davis leveraged his cronies at the Washington Post to again remind us that all 32 members of the board were unanimous in their agreement to terminate Joe Paterno. Employing political tactics at this time of mourning and in this case of child abuse is sickening. The immediate timing of the interview was nothing short of reprehensible.

CHRIS KNIGHT, The Patriot-NewsThe Penn State Board of Trustees has brought in political advisor, Lanny Davis to be their mouthpiece for the Sandusky scandal.

Mourners had not even cleared the Bryce Jordan Center after the Joe Paterno Memorial on Thursday before Board of Trustees’ mouthpiece; Lanny Davis was on the offense.

While our tears were still drying, Mr Davis leveraged his cronies at the Washington Post to again remind us that all 32 members of the board were unanimous in their agreement to terminate Joe Paterno.

Employing political tactics at this time of mourning and in this case of child abuse is sickening. The immediate timing of the interview was nothing short of reprehensible.

As for the unanimous vote; I don’t know about anyone else but I have a hard time getting three kids to agree on where to stop for lunch. I imagine if I put 32 people in a room, it would be difficult to get everyone of them to agree that the sky was blue much less get them to unanimously agree to unceremoniously show the door to a legend.

The bottom line is this (and there is no other way to say it); Lanny Davis must think we are all idiots. Given his track record in politics and lobbying for dictators in Africa, maybe I can understand his hubris.

But this time his target audience consists primarily of graduates from one of the finest universities in the world. We have been around the block and understand that in meetings like this, there are multiple votes held while refashioning the language to arrive at a suitable majority. Ultimately a final vote is held to certify the vote with no objections (which makes it unanimous).

The bottom line is no board is going to convey a controversial decision that had one-third dissenters. In fact many boards have language in their by-laws that majority votes will be declared unanimous.

So please stop with the unanimous vote garbage.

Davis goes on to say the facts speak for themselves and that Joe Paterno was given due process via his Grand Jury testimony. As we have only seen the twenty-three page Grand Jury Presentment, Davis’s due process claim is not only presumptuous but purposely misleading.

Davis might be surprised to realize that many of us legal laypersons have learned what a Grand Jury Presentment actually is; the prosecutor’s version of the testimony in an attempt to get an indictment. An indictment of Sandusky!

Grand Jury presentments are heavily biased and often inaccurate. As we have already learned, the presentment in this case inaccurately states that Mike McQueary saw anal intercourse which he clearly dispelled during his testimony at the Curly and Schultz perjury hearing in December.

The presentment is not finding of fact even though the media treated it as such.  The presentment is not treated as evidence in a court of law. Therefore to call the findings due process is blatantly ridiculous.

Paterno‘s questioning reportedly lasted 5-10 minutes. Lanny Davis and the Board want us to believe these few minutes as summarized in a grand jury presentment from which he wasn't even charged was Joe Paterno’s due process? That these few minutes overrode 61 years of exemplary service?

There is not one shred of information in that report that would lead any impartial observer to believe that Joe Paterno should be fired; particularly when those who were actually responsible for investigating were either allowed to retire or were put on administrative leave.

The question everyone should be asking is why Paterno was handled differently than those who had the ultimate responsibility? Especially when done via a late night phone call which they still continue to justify.

And what evidence or facts is Davis pointing towards to explain this? The fact that Paterno reported the incident to those who were responsible to investigate? That is all the presentment says.

It is blatantly obvious what is going on here. The Board of Trustees at Penn State University succumbed to a ratings driven media lynching of the biggest name at the University, overreacted to save face and made a massive mistake.

Rather than admit that mistake, they circled the wagons and brought in a political hack to lobby the media and anyone who will listen to turn public sentiment in their favor.

To Mr. Davis and the Board - this is not a political election. There should not be lobbying, but rather truth finding.

Young innocent children had their lives ruined. There are careers, reputations and legacies at stake. Sending out a political hack armed with targeted sound bites to save your face and preserve your image is beneath any board of trustees. Or at least should be, particularly in a case like this.

In time, whether you like it or not, the truth of the events and your mishandling will come out. It is already happening. The media spotlight will shine back where it belongs.

On the heels of a memorial that showed the world what Joe Paterno stood for, you should have directed Lanny Davis to keep his mouth shut and you should continue to do so going forward.

Perhaps you should consider what people might say at your memorial.

One of the longest and loudest standing ovations during yesterday’s incredible memorial ceremony to Joe Paterno went to Nike Chairman and Founder, Phil Knight. The ovation came directly after Mr. Knight pointed his daunting Nike slash directly at the Penn State University’s leadership and their investigation into the alleged 2002 Sandusky shower incident. He called the investigation “the villain in this tragedy”.

Joe Hermitt, The Patriot NewsPhil Knight looks up to the picture of his hero, Joe Paterno

One of the longest and loudest standing ovations during yesterday’s incredible memorial ceremony to Joe Paterno went to Nike Chairman and Founder, Phil Knight.The ovation came directly after Mr. Knight pointed his daunting Nike slash directly at the Penn State University’s leadership and their investigation into the alleged 2002 Sandusky shower incident.He called the investigation “the villain in this tragedy”.

Let’s be clear, the tragedy Mr. Knight was referring to was the lambasting that Joe Paterno took in the media and the classless firing by the Board of Trustees.We all have to admit the ultimate villain is the person (I struggle to use that word) who allegedly destroyed the lives of several young boys.

But this is life and in life there can certainly be more than one villain and we can mourn the wrongs done by these villains on various levels.We as humans have this capability.On this day, at this memorial, it was certainly appropriate to discuss the wrongs done to Phil Knight’s hero, Coach Joe Paterno.

It occurred to me as Mr. Knight waited for the applause to die down; the media, along with their more than willing accomplices in the Board of Trustees had completely glossed over the university’s investigation.You see it didn’t fit the media’s ratings template and it didn’t provide the BOT with a scapegoat.

The best way for the media to drive huge ratings in the Sandusky scandal was to lay the blame for everything that happened at the feet of the biggest name out there. But there were Nike shoes on those feet and on Thursday afternoon, we all became thankful for that.

As Mr. Knight deftly pointed out, the investigation was in the hands of the leadership of a world class university and a respected president whose job it was to maintain the standing and reputation of his university.The investigation was placed in their “capable” hands by a football coach named Joe Paterno.

What happened after that is both a mystery and a travesty.Did the university actually investigate?And if so, how did they miss the 1998 shower report, the DA’s investigation in 1999, and the janitor’s report in 2000?The answer has to be that either they didn’t investigate fully (if at all) or they did and decided the solution was to simply tell Sandusky he can’t bring boys onto campus facilities.

Villainous?When you consider that there were more victims after this investigation, I would certainly say it was!

Let’s for one minute suppose that the university leadership actually considered the fact that they could not possibly allow an accused pervert to run around our beloved campus.They direct Gary Schultz to fully investigate the incident involving whatever additional agencies are necessary.They bring in child services (Schultz implies they were called but there is apparently no record); become aware of the previous reports, notify the DA and an accused sexual deviant is taken off the street.

Who would we have to thank for making this happen?None other than Mike McQueary and Joseph Vincent Paterno.

In our supposition, McQueary and Paterno did the exact same thing; which is what they were legally and morally supposed to do.The only difference is the university leadership actually followed through as they were supposed to do.

As Phil Knight so eloquently stated, the villain in Joe Paterno’s final weeks on earth is certainly the investigation that most importantly allowed more alleged victims; but also let down over a half million Penn State’s students, alumni, and our beloved coach and departed hero; Joseph Vincent Paterno.

Thank you Mr. Knight for bringing this to the forefront.

50 Yard Lion blogger Mike Canzoneri gives Coach O'Brien some advice on his new job.

Welcome!  I am extremely happy that you have decided to come to Penn State.  I know this post is a little late, but I wanted to wait and find out what your staff would look like before I started commenting.  Before I get into the thick of this post, I want to take care of some business.  What nickname should we give you?  Coach O, BOB (short for Bill O'Brien), COB (Coach O'Brien) or my favorite, The Chin! In case you didn't realize it, this is very important for the message board fanatics.  We don't want to type out Coach O'Brien on our smart phones every five minutes.  If you have something you prefer, please let us know.  Now onto business...

Joe Hermitt, The Patriot-NewsBill O'Brien, Penn State's new head football coach.

I will admit that I thought the administration was going to go with a big name-type coach, someone who would have instant name recognition.  I was not sure to how react to your hiring at first.  Then I saw your press conference.  Your head on approach about a number of topics was great and the press conference couldn't have gone any better.  Then we, as fans, found out that we're keeping Ron Vanderlinden (Vandy) on the Penn State staff.  That was in addition to Larry Johnson Sr. (LJ).  If there was a way to seal the deal with me, that was it.

I think what made me the happiest of all of that was the fact you took time out of your busy schedule to meet with the Big 33 coaches.  I know you have a great deal of experience recruiting and to meet with those coaches on your first day was big for me.  It showed that you understand that being a college coach starts with your recruiting pipeline.  Not to get too political, but you need to seal our Pennsylvania borders... from Ohio! This is a great first step in doing so.

Speaking of recruiting, I've heard you are already making the rounds.  A lot of the message board fanatics at jumping for joy about this. If you want to win over this crowd quickly, you will have to secure the verbal commitment of Camren Williams (LB) and Armani Reeves (CB).  Good news is they are in the Patriots neck of the woods in New England.  Do this and you will be celebrated in the toughest place to gain any respect, the internet message boards, where everyone knows they could do a better job than you.

As for your lack of head coaching experience, you seem to be approaching your staff in the right fashion. You are surrounding yourself with a good mix of people. Do you know what the best part of the new staff is? Everyone recruits!  No more will 50% of the key Nittany Lion staff wait for recruits to come and visit Happy Valley!  This alone evens the playing field on the recruiting trail from the last 10 years or so and makes a lot of fans extremely happy. 

You spoke a lot about getting a great feeling for Penn State in the short amount of time that you have been on campus.  I suggest you and your family do the following, head to the last day of THON. I know you have a really pressing schedule, but this would be well worth it.  There are very few things that represent Penn State more than Dance MaraTHON.  It is pretty moving and will quickly give you an understanding of how much more there is to Penn State than football, which the rest of the mainstream media never seems to get.

Finally, I can't believe I am going to write the following words, I will be rooting for the Patriots this weekend.  Good luck! It is nice to know that the announcers will be mentioning that you are our next head coach during what maybe the most watched playoff game this coming weekend.

Once again, Welcome to the Nittany Nation!  Can't wait to see the team in action during the Blue White game!

Canz would love to hear from you regarding how wrong he is.  He can be reached at the very juvenile email address, CanztheMoose@yahoo.com. Or you can harass him on Twitter, @CanztheMoose!

Inaction is what led to the crumbling of something legendary. I for one do not just support Coach O'Brien, but the entire new era of ideas and process.

Patriot-News/Joe HermittNew Penn State football coach Bill O'Brien and his son Michael, 6, meet the Nittany Lion before being introduced during the first half of the Penn State women's basketball game at the Bryce Jordan Center Saturday afternoon. O'Brien held an introductory press conference in the morning at the Nittany Lion Inn. JOE HERMITT, The Patriot-News

Back in September I described how change was the most important issue facing Joe Paterno and his Penn State football staff, and fear of it. Mediocrity had become the norm. Everyone could see it. It persisted and permeated every aspect of the program.

Fast forward to November.

The worst and most devastating scandal in NCAA history hits Happy Valley. It's all going to come down, we can see it. And as each day starts, more horrid details unfold. What took place under the guise of leadership and mentoring, from top of the chain down, it's a terrible travesty, and obviously many instances that could and should have been avoided.

Now, fast forward to this week.

Penn State announces their new choice for head coach. Almost immediately they are attacked with, "We waited two months for this?"

Yes, you did. But it's not about us, our feelings, the short term. It's about completely sweeping away the old remnants of a "keep it in the family" attitude at the University.

LaVar Arrington and Brandon Short, you guys should be supporting this decision, staying positive. Instead you come out looking like "fair weather fans."

More of the same will not cut it. Things must change. What Bill O'Brien will bring is something completely different, exactly what so many of us have been whining about for seasons now.

We had to hire somebody. And no head coach that we want, that is doing great, is typically going to leave a comfortable situation.

We need youth and fire. You should constantly be thinking of the future of your program, from QB all the way to staff. I remember a few years ago at a press conference, Joe Paterno responded to a question about how the Lions were going to do that season with something like, "If you're not constantly striving to get better, then by nature you will slip and get worse."

Did Joe Paterno forget those staples, or was the fear of change too much for him and the upper echelon of the PSU program?

Fear will ruin your life, keep you from taking chances and taking shots at opportunity. You never know unless you try, and the toughest part of the journey is usually the first step out the door.

Bring on the change. Good or bad, it is needed, has been needed, and we can all learn from this situation immensely. This is the first step of a new journey for Penn State and all those involved.

Students, staff, fans, supporters of all kinds. Drop your fear. Rejoice and be excited for the clean slate that is before Coach O'Brien, and for us as fans.

One last thing: change is going to happen whether we want it to or not. If you control your fear, you can usually see change and be ahead of it, take action, and not let it catch you and lose.

Inaction is what led to the crumbling of something legendary. I for one do not just support Coach O'Brien, but the entire new era of ideas and process.

I wish the best to everyone closely involved, and love that Coach O'Brien's son had a Silas Redd jersey on and knew his name. This decision is a risk. Fact is that risk takers, though they hit the ground, are often the ones that also hit it big.

It has been said in many ways by many people that those who expect nothing are rarely disappointed. Unfortunately for Bill O'Brien, Penn State fans expected a home run. This was evident in the twitterverse and on the airwaves as many fans and even several past players let their frustrations with this hire get the best of them.

Joe Hermitt, The Patriot-NewsBill O'Brien takes over as Penn State Football Coach

It has been said in many ways by many people that those who expect nothing are rarely disappointed.  Unfortunately for Bill O'Brien, Penn State fans expected a home run.  This was evident in the twitterverse and on the airwaves as many fans and even several past players let their frustrations with this hire get the best of them. 

The Penn State community has been bitterly divided for almost 10 years with the Joe must go crowd getting louder every year.  Hiring a new coach actually created an opportunity to bring fans back together.  All that was needed was a big named coach who the fans could rally behind to restore some of the pride that the Sandusky scandal took away.  Unfortunately, Joyner and the search committe did not deliver.

Some fans were ready to give O'Brien a chance while many others were ready to follow Tom Bradley to another university.  So divided we remained; at least for a couple days.  Then a funny thing happened at today's press conference announcing Bill O'Brien as the new coach. 

We got to meet the guy. 

And whether he was Plan C or Plan Z, he turned out to be a coach that is both confident and humble.  He said the right things.  He portrayed himself as a family guy.  He genuinely sounded excited to be part of Penn State even saying We Are.  He announced he is keeping the beloved Larry Johnson on his staff.  This is great for continuity and recruiting which is a huge concern.  And most importantly for me, he acknowledged Joe Paterno and all he has done. 

Coach O'Brien (BillPa?) seems to have won over the Nittany Nation and a large majority of the fans are ready to give O'Brien a chance.  Adam Brenneman, the 2013 standout Tight End from Cedar Cliff actually tweeted that there couldn't have been a better hire after the press conference.  If you have watched any Patriots games this  year, you know that the Tight End is integral in O'Brien's offense.  Patriots Tight End Rob Gronkowski broke the NFL record for receptions, receiving yards and touchdowns by a Tight End this year. 

Don't get me wrong; there are still detractors.  And their loudest criticism is that O'Brien is staying with the Patriots through the playoffs.  These same people would be burning him at the stake if he left Penn State before a Bowl Game for an NFL job.  It is the right thing to do and is entirely possible that the Patriots made this a condition when allowing him to speak to Penn State. 

O'Brien still has a daunting task in front of him.  He has to put together a staff, win over the current players and salvage the recruiting class while coaching an NFL team in the playoffs. 

And most importantly, he will have to win games and B1G Championships to really get the fans behind him.  

But by screwing up this hire (tongue planted firmly in cheek), Dave Joyner and the coaching search committee may have just put the guy in place who can unite the fans and restore the pride. 

And maybe even exceed our expectations.

JOE HERMITT, The Patriot-NewsDoes it take a legendary search to replace a legendary coach? Before anyone jumps on the title, I am speaking specifically of the search itself, not the result.  The result of course is yet to be seen but what makes the search legendary besides the sheer length (approaching 2 months!) is both the remarkable stealth and the myriad of smokescreens. ...

JOE HERMITT, The Patriot-NewsDoes it take a legendary search to replace a legendary coach?

Before anyone jumps on the title, I am speaking specifically of the search itself, not the result.  The result of course is yet to be seen but what makes the search legendary besides the sheer length (approaching 2 months!) is both the remarkable stealth and the myriad of smokescreens. 

If you have ever attended a 4 year old child's soccer game, it is the perfect metaphor for this search.  Wherever the ball goes, every player on the field follows.  It is one big mass of kids surrounding a ball moving randomly around the field.  It's not for another couple of years that one of the kids figures out they can stand off to the side unguarded and call for a pass.

In the case of the search, the fans and the media are the kids who have dizzily followed the coaching ball as it rolled from Tony Dungy to Dan Mullen to Al Golden back home to Tom Bradley over to Jon Gruden to Pat Fitzgerald to Dick Vermeil to Kirk Ferentz to Gary Patterson out to Chris Peterson back to Golden over to Mark Richt to Jim Grobe to Tim Murphy to Bo Pelini to Eric Mangini somehow even bouncing off of Urban Meyer then up to Mike Munchak to Bob Stoops to all the Stoops to John Hufnagel to Nick Saban west to Chip Kelly back down to Les Miles to Bill Cowher then over to Tom Clements to Bill O'Brien to Greg Schiano to Greg Roman then back to Mark Richt to Chris Peterson and Jon Gruden.  Wow!!  

As each new name du jour materialized along the way, some new twitter "heroes" have emerged and been exposed, news organizations and journalists have jumped the gun and various "insiders" have been proven to be false prophets while others are being so vague that they will be able to claim they knew all along.  

Some enterprising fans have even been tracking flights in and out of State College and then discussing at length why a plane left State College for Nebraska or Tampa or Miami and then over to the Cayman Islands. 

Amongst all of this investigation and speculation, nobody can definitively stand up and say who is on the short list much less if anyone has been wrapped up.   

All the while we have been left to wonder if Dave Joyner and Ira Lubert are standing back smiling as this goes on in their wake.  Or are they scrambling and the media and fans are creating the wake as we chase their tails. 

Fans are certainly split which is nothing new when it comes to following Penn State football.  Some believe there has been a home-run hire in the bag for weeks now that can't be announced until after a certain bowl game involving our new coach; maybe even until after the BCS Championship or at least until after Gruden has announced the Orange Bowl tonight.  

Others stand up and scream that the entire search has been a cluster, the job is toxic and the search committee is grasping at straws.  They say we will end up with a Tim Murphy or an unknown NFL assistant.  The president wants to deemphasize football don't you know.     

What do I think?  Well since you asked; it seems to me that it would be extremely difficult to keep such an air-tight lid on what is going on while in scramble mode.   Rather, I think the search has the appearance of being purposeful and controlled.

The daily names being release have been a perfect way to expose those who leak inside information.  You tell someone a name and then stand back and see if it pops out.  Insiders are being picked off one by one.  It is brilliant actually.

In addition, the names being released are somehow always not available.  Saban and Miles are certainly busy right now.  And every NFL assistant being named is on a team that is likely to go deep into the playoffs.  We have a Packers assistant, a Patriots assistant and a 49ers assistant apparently on the short list.  Funny that they all have byes this coming weekend and don't play again until after our coach will already be named (according to Joyner's timeline).  Look for a Raven assistants name to be released any day now! 

And the agents are happy to play along to get their coaching client's names out there for one of the open NFL coaching vacancies.  I am sure Bill O'Brien's agent is in a much better place after his client's name was plastered all over the web last week. 

I could be wrong but it appears to me that these guys know exactly what they are doing and have come up with the perfect way to keep everyone guessing.  The silence from those who truly know what is going on along with the sleight of hand has kept the media completely in the dark which is nothing short of amazing in this day and age of social media. 

Yes, this coaching search itself has been nothing short of legendary.  Let's just hope it ends soon and that the result ends up being legendary as well.  It worked the last time.

Who do I think it will be?  Well since you asked; I am going with a name that sounds good when you add 'Pa' to the end.  Simply because I have no idea.  But if you know who it is, I am they kid standing away from the ball calling for the pass.  Kick it to me, I'm open! 

Get well Joe! 

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm ready for this coaching change to take place. My thoughts and respects go out to the current coaching staff, but I believe it is time for a change at Penn State. I believe the showing this team put on the field at the TicketCity Bowl reaffirms my thoughts and beliefs, and it shows that if Bradley remains the coach, that we can expect more of the same mediocrity.

View full sizeJoe Hermitt, The Patriot-NewsTom Bradley and Jay Paterno walk the sidelines, in what may be the last time anyone from the Paterno era is in charge of Penn State Football.

When the constants in our life change, it tends to create a ripple effect. There have only been two constants throughout my quarter-century of existence: my family and Penn State Football. And now, one of my constants has left me in something of an early mid-life crisis. I don't want to come off as overdramatic, but my relationship with...

When the constants in our life change, it tends to create a ripple effect. There have only been two constants throughout my quarter-century of existence: my family and Penn State Football. And now, one of my constants has left me in something of an early mid-life crisis.

I don't want to come off as overdramatic, but my relationship with sports has always existed on a level beyond its intended purpose. "It's just a game," my little league coach would try to remind me when I stormed back to the dugout, crying, after a strikeout. I knew better. Sports were never just a game; to me, they were life. If I could find success in sports, everything else would fall into place. If I could earn praise as an athlete, it would overshadow my shortcomings—socially, intellectually, physically. It was the reason I competed through college, in a Penn State uniform.

SEAN SIMMERS/The Patriot-NewsBeaver Stadium.

Sports were never just a game. If they were, why did I cry as a five year old when Indiana beat us in the most painful loss in Penn State basketball history? Why did I curse the Associated Press as a seven year old when Nebraska was named the best team in the country? Why did I storm the field in jubilation as an 18 year old when we beat Ohio State, then break my TV days later when we lost to Michigan as time expired? If my team failed me, then I, by extension, also failed. It never occurred to me that even after our worst loss, I woke up the next day, and my life still proceeded as usual.

It sounds crazy, and it probably is. But a hunger that exists beyond rationality is what drives athletes to success. And a similar desire to channel the success of others into our own lives is what makes sports as entertainment so compelling.   However, for the first time in my 25 years, over the course of one week in November, the thought came back into my head, and grew like a tumor: "It's just a game."

Sports were never just a game. If they were, why did the hordes of media descend on State College to conduct a public execution of our athletic department—the same athletic department that gave me communication and leadership skills I lacked and sorely needed to start my professional career, in the hopes of someday providing for my own family? Why have I, as a Penn Stater, been labeled a pedophile by thousands of overzealous fans that I have never even met? Why am I being held personally accountable for the actions of a few?

In the wake of the wave of hatred, my feelings toward sports changed. I didn't mind that we lost to Nebraska. It was secondary that we beat Ohio State. I shrugged my shoulders as Wisconsin and Houston embarrassed us. I don't care who our new coach is, or if Penn State ever wins again. Over the course of just a few weeks, I learned that what happens on the field really doesn't matter. After all, sports are just a game.

I will never be able to answer to the thousands. I can't convince them that I, like the vast majority of Penn Staters, do not stand behind all that is evil. However, this particular iteration of the Penn State football team, and the coaches that stood beside them, taught me something more important, which is helping me to advance beyond my personal struggle:

When there is nothing else to believe in, believe in your family. Believe in the people you've bled with, cried with, and even fought with. You never know when the constants in your life will be taken away.

Tim can be contacted at tjj5009@gmail.com.